Before we know it, it will be graduation time again! We are a small group and last year, we only had one graduate. This year, we will, again, have one graduate. I don’t know about you, but I am already praying and thinking about our graduation this year.

Last year was our first year as a group so we were excited about our graduation. My goal is to glorify God with all that we do and say as well as to also make it a very special night for the graduate and family. I keep the graduate’s mother very involved allowing her input for ideas and to approve just about everything we do. We had a really good time last year.

Cory, last year’s graduate, did not know about all of our plans because I wanted it to be special for him with some surprises that would really make him happy.

We started the evening off with an invitation only, seated dinner. It was nicely decorated and the room was beautiful! The ladies responsible for the decorating really outdid themselves! We had about 65 guests and dinner was from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m.

At 6:25 p.m., I started to encourage the guests to finish up and make their way to the sanctuary where the graduation was to begin at 7:00 p.m. The service was open to all and we had quite a few to attend the graduation.

When Cory entered with music, he took his place in the center of the front row. I had his parents and family seated on the second row. Our pastor was the MC and did a great job! Music was by Cory’s sister and four other people that were key in Cory’s life spoke about Cory. It was very touching for Cory and everyone there. This was a very special part of the service.

Our guest speaker was Senator Daniel Webster from Orlando. I never thought he would agree to attend, but he did and we were really excited!! Cory and his family had heard him speak a year or so earlier were impressed. When Cory found out that he was coming to speak at his graduation, he was excited! The Senator is a very humble man who also homeschooled his children and put into motion the first bills concerning home schooling here in Florida. He has been a great advocate and, we, as a state, are very blessed to have him!

He gave a great talk that was down to earth, practical, good for Cory’s future and for all of us as well. We were truly blessed that evening.

Cory surprised his mother with long stem roses. She did not know about that part so she was touched. Cory’s parents went up to the front and talked about Cory and to Cory and then presented him with his diploma.

We invited everyone into the Fellowship Hall afterwards for cake and punch; it was a great night! I had many people tell me, including public school teachers, that it was the best graduation service they had ever attended.

The goal was for Cory to have a special night, his family to have a special night, and above all, for God to be glorified through it all. I am happy to report that I believe all of that took place. Praise the Lord!!

I am praying about this year’s graduation service. We have another great young man who deserves a very special night. It is such a privilege to homeschool our children. What a neat way to enjoy their hard work as they begin the next phase of their lives.

About the Author: Debi lives in Okeechobee, Florida with her husband and 2 of 3 sons. She has homeschooled Josiah and Jeremy for 5 years and is the leader of Cornerstone Christian Home Educators.

Conflict, at least to some degree, is inevitable in any support group. Homeschoolers are an extremely diverse group with a wide range of needs and goals. Some people will want field trips and activities, while those may seem burdensome to others. Some will want a strictly Christian support group and others will want a more inclusive group. Some moms will be willing to serve and some will not. And then worst of all is the person who says that they will serve, but totally drops the ball calling you 30 minutes before an activity is supposed to start expecting you to take over…. It’s those types of things that can drive you batty and make you wonder, “Why do I bother?”

Control issues seem to be at the heart of most conflicts. Let’s face it - most homeschool moms like to have control. They are used to selecting everything and working on a schedule that is best for their family. Homeschool moms also have very high standards. Just when you think you’ve got a wonderful hands-on activity planned for the kids to serve some greater cause, someone will suggest a better way to make a piñata for your group. UGH! In that single moment, you feel like they have devalued all of your time and effort that you poured into the project. And then you begin wondering…., “Why don’t they ever volunteer to coordinate activities for the children?” The next thing you know, you’re starting to think about quitting. But you can let those things slide.

What about the bigger issues: the things that threaten to or eventually do split your group? Things like changing location, a statement of faith, the types of activities that your group will organize, required volunteering and just plain old personality conflicts. How do you deal with them?

Communication seems to be a key factor. Members need to know that their voices are heard and that their opinions are valued. Many wise leaders have fended off some amount of grief simply by making members aware of changes being considered and allowing them to voice their opinions. Of course, you have to make it clear whether your group is going to function as a democracy and that you’ll go with the majority’s decision or if your leadership will consider everything people have said, but ultimately make whatever decision that they feel is best for the group. With modern technology and the use of Yahoo groups rising, many groups are finding that they need a moderator for the email messages. Moderating helps to eliminate over quoting of previous messages, so that the digests and archives are easier to search and read, it can help to avoid chain letters, virus warnings, etc and also helps maintain topicality and focus on homeschooling. Then, of course, if you need to delete any messages that are just going to cause trouble, you can do that as well.

If you find your group bogged down in controversy, you might consider asking a regional or state support group leader for help. Many times, having a more respected, impartial party to mediate or facilitate a discussion can help to bring resolution. However sometimes a conflict is really just a signal that it is time for another group to develop and meet some different needs and desires. We have to humbly accept that no one group can be all things to all people, nor should it try to be.

So at some point you have to pray together with your leadership team and flesh out the vision and mission for your group. Will it be to reach out to people considering homeschooling? Will it be to offer Bible studies for homeschool moms to challenge them in their biblical roles? Is your focus going to be on activities for the children or is the focus to encourage the moms? There are no right or wrong answers here. The fact is that God has a reason for bringing a group of people together at any given time and He is the one that we are truly serving.

God calls us as Christians to love and serve one another. It can be so rewarding to encourage other homeschool moms. Only other homeschoolers can understand the unique challenges and privileges that come from homeschooling. As you gather together, you will not only encourage someone, but someone there will be an encouragement to you as well.

Now back to the conflict issue. It's easy to love and serve others when everything is flowing smoothly, but when you are dealing with conflict it gets tough – sometimes really, really tough. That is when others can see the difference of being a Christian. That is when God can teach each of us so much more.

So if God has you in the season of your life to serve other homeschoolers, don't be surprised or unprepared for the conflict that will come. You can't please all of the people all of the time. You really shouldn't even try. But if you keep your eyes focused on that Audience of One, He will guide you through the rough waters.

“Class dismissed.”

About the Author: Nancy Carter is a Kentucky Contributor for Homeschool Nation, a support group and co-op leader, as well as a Public Relations Assistant for The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. She and her husband, Tony, are blessed to be homeschooling three sons. Together they are learning lots of lessons on their farm in Kentucky. You can read more of her Lessons Learned on the Farm at www.homeschoolblogger.com/tn3jcarter or check out some Kentucky homeschool happenings at www.homeschoolblogger.com/Kentucky.

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